My Life Rulz

What?

My Life Rulz are 10 foundational mental rules* to build emotional resilience.

Here are the first six………..

  1. I belong here. I do belong.
  2. I can get used to this place and still grow.
  3. I deserve to feel safe and loved – always.
  4. Sometimes life is good and fair.  Sometimes it’s not.
  5. All my choices matter.  They all have consequences.
  6. God does care, even when it doesn’t seem like it.

* RULZNot rules as such, rather they are read as principles to guide ones life by.  By nature, rules are inflexible and seek to control thinking. Rulz however, seek to guide ones thinking and enhance ones ability to live well.

Why?

Because children are our most precious resource. “One dreams of what a better world this place would be if all our children had received the benefit of committing My Life Rulz to memory before the age of 10 years. But what better time to begin the vision than now? We commend it to you with hope and prayer that it will find a vital place in the hearts and lives of parents, families, Schools and Churches who are passionate about this generation.”

David J Riddell, Living Wisdom, Nelson, NZ.

Because it is not acceptable to have children suffering from anxiety, depression and hopelessness.

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How?

My Life Rulz builds a healthy mind and can be grasped by children of all ages, cultures and aptitudes. Using a variety of media presentations this is encapsulated common sense at its best; simple, comprehensive and profound and can be grasped in just minutes.

Resourcing families and communities; My Life Rulz reaches into the depths of the mind to unearth the toxic thinking.  ‘Stinking thinking’ that causes stress, anxiety, depression and suicide along with the many other aliments that hinder our young and increasingly older people today.   Easy to use and no training needed.  My Life Rulz uses a powerful technique of trace, face and replace.  Tracing the thinking to its root, facing the root assumption and replacing it with truth and insight giving hope to those once struggling to find any.   In a world of chaos, where ‘feelings’ rule and fear is reigning, My Life Rulz brings light into the lives of those using these powerful resources. Tested and developed by the authors over many thousands of hours of counselling clinical practice in both New Zealand and Australia. My Life Rulz comes as part of the larger Living Wisdom Library of Counselling resources.  For more on’How’ …….

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3 days ago

My Life Rulz

I have received the following question regarding a bully winding up a child. I hope you find my thoughts helpful.

How do you reassure your child who has a bully that winds her/him up?
Bullying is a problem. Without discussion, de-briefing and empowering your child bullying can leave internal damage for decades and wreak havoc in a person’s life. For example one common subconscious bruise left in adults is an emotional allergy to being dominated, bullied or controlled and to ever avoid feeling that they themselves become a ‘bully’ (usually passively) and are resistant to correction and challenge. Therefore they don’t like working for someone, loaning their power to another, even their spouse and will often be self-employed. They are reticent to trust authority and feel ‘told what to do’ when that may not be the case at all. This is just one of the bruises left, there are several other possibilities.
So, your job as a parent is to de-brief your child by listening, validating and affirming them. That means entering their world, hearing things from their perspective and then giving them the life skill of assertiveness. You can teach a child as young as 3 years old to stay clam while using a strong voice, saying something like…….“BACK OFF’! You don’t want your child resorting to physical aggression because they can’t bear being wound up again. A bully’s subconscious will pick out a child who doesn’t know how to be assertive and protect their personal space. So, once you role-play this with your child and give them permission that it is fine to get in their face and tell them to ‘back off’ the bully will, 90% of the time, actually back off! This empowers your child and teaches them that appropriate assertiveness is a life skill to help set them up for success in their life and relationships.
A few truth coaches might be:-
1. This person has a problem; I am not the problem.
2. Hurting people sometimes hurt other people.
3. I can strongly tell him/her to back off and leave me alone.
4. I can pretend to be strong before I am strong, they won’t know I am learning.
5. I am valuable and loved even though this kid has decided to pick me out.
Song 11 on our My Life Rulz Song CD is also worth downloading for less than $2! (www.myliferulz.com)
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I have received the following question regarding a bully winding up a child.  I hope you find my thoughts helpful. 

How do you reassure your child who has a bully that winds her/him up?   
Bullying is a problem. Without discussion, de-briefing and empowering your child bullying can leave internal damage for decades and wreak havoc in a person’s life.  For example one common subconscious bruise left in adults is an emotional allergy to being dominated, bullied or controlled and to ever avoid feeling that they themselves become a ‘bully’ (usually passively) and are resistant to correction and challenge.  Therefore they don’t like working for someone, loaning their power to another, even their spouse and will often be self-employed.  They are reticent to trust authority and feel ‘told what to do’ when that may not be the case at all. This is just one of the bruises left, there are several other possibilities.  
So, your job as a parent is to de-brief your child by listening, validating and affirming them.  That means entering their world, hearing things from their perspective and then giving them the life skill of assertiveness.  You can teach a child as young as 3 years old to stay clam while using a strong voice, saying something like…….“BACK OFF’!  You don’t want your child resorting to physical aggression because they can’t bear being wound up again.  A bully’s subconscious will pick out a child who doesn’t know how to be assertive and protect their personal space.  So, once you role-play this with your child and give them permission that it is fine to get in their face and tell them to ‘back off’ the bully will, 90% of the time, actually back off!  This empowers your child and teaches them that appropriate assertiveness is a life skill to help set them up for success in their life and relationships.  
A few truth coaches might be:- 
1. This person has a problem; I am not the problem.  
2. Hurting people sometimes hurt other people. 
3. I can strongly tell him/her to back off and leave me alone.  
4. I can pretend to be strong before I am strong, they won’t know I am learning. 
5. I am valuable and loved even though this kid has decided to pick me out. 
Song 11 on our My Life Rulz Song CD is also worth downloading for less than $2!  (www.myliferulz.com)

 

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I find the advice depends on the situation, but I always tell them that happy people don't bully people- end of story.

I have found with girls explaining how to use their "secret power" has worked brilliantly. First, we talked with the teacher which provided our child with great reassurance that we were backing her. Second, this other child was provoking to get a reaction, so the "secret power" was simply to quietly walk away which took the power away from the other child. This also works when the other sibling winds up this child. This child has found great power in the "secret power". 🙂 Great article Jo Koskela!

Andrew Mountain

Rule 2 in My Life Rulz says that I can grow regardless of my situation and Rule 7 says:- "It isn't what happens to me that matters but how I choose to think about it." Who needs thousands of statistics to prove these truths when we have REAL people to show us.

ABC News
As a Thalidomide survivor Trish uses her disability to teach young people how to be resilient. Read more: ab.co/2yXSoYU
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ABC News

 

Comment on Facebook

🤗

Wow. What a beautiful story

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